How To Work From Home

Have A Set Schedule
It’s easy for your work life to bleed into your personal life (and vice versa). Write out a definite schedule for yourself and clearly define when your work day starts and ends. You’ll be more productive and happy when you separate these two facets of your life.

Stay In Contact With Your Team
Thanks to programs like Skype and Slack, it’s become remarkably easy to stay in constant contact with coworkers, no matter how far away they are. If you have coworkers, make sure you check in regularly (and not just on work-related issues — be a personable & social member of your team).

Schedule At Least One Video Call Per Day
Whether it’s your manager or a client, getting some face-time in is a great way to reinforce your work connections. Book time each day to chat with someone in your organization.

Take A Break, Take A Walk
It’s essential to get away from your desk and clear your head every now and then. Get outside (weather permitting) and take a walk. Remember to bring your phone to record any ideas you might have while walking (and also to receive phone calls & texts). Other “walking” essentials might include:

  • A rain coat or additional layer in case the weather changes.
  • Sunglasses (any kind).
  • A Hello Kitty backpack (to carry items inside of).
  • Snacks in the event you get hungry (ex. trail mix, candy bars, filet mignon, a jar of pickles, smoked herring taints, etc).
  • Pepper spray, brass knuckles, a sock full of quarters, or a throwing knife.
  • 3 years worth of fresh water and vitamins.

Maintain Non-Work Interests
The foundation of a proper work-life balance is the healthy pursuit of non-work interests & hobbies. For example, for the last 5 years I have been crafting a sci-fi novel that I would loosely describe as “an unofficial sequel toThe Notebook set in deep space.” I just finished a chapter where cyber-Noah interrogates the galactic Nazi overlord to get the shutdown codes for the core reactor while Allie reprograms the hyper-drive for maximum jump capabilities. Also, Fin is an alien now.

Limit Your Knife Throwing To One Room In Your House
The best way to avoid confusion and unnecessary trips to the hospital is to have a dedicated “knife throwing room.” This greatly reduces the level of risk of your roommates or family members. As to whether you need a separate room for your ninja throwing stars is a matter of personal preference.

Do Not Argue With Your Cats
First of all, your assertion that trickle-down economics has been “unfairly maligned & intentionally misremembered by the bleeding-heart liberal media” is nonsense. And secondly, I’m not going to even consider the opinion of someone who poops in a sandbox, Whiskers.

Plan Your Drinking Before You Start Drinking
Getting drunk all the time is one way to stay engaged and creative. But remember the old adage: “bear before liquor, get mauled quicker : liquor before bear, drunk-dial a hare.”

Yell At Your Houseplants
Try and spend at least 2 hours a day screaming vitriolic fire at whatever plants might be in your house. Strive for maximum yelling volume at all times. Otherwise, it’s just not worth it — the plants will learn nothing and you’ll be left feeling unfulfilled.

Avoid Sunlight At All Costs
Sunlight is the harsh judgement of God incarnate. Avert your sinful eyes and shield your pale vampiric body from the burning divinity of His holy rays. Maintain a nocturnal existence. Shun your day-walking neighbors. Live forever.